It’s a common feeling that when grandparents or parents pass away people feel guilty that they didn’t give them enough time and patience.
My 87 year old great aunt ruby, having never married or had children, has always been a staple part of the family. Always been there at every family event and I probably did overlook her and conversations were just polite chit chat.
So it was a surprise to me over the last year that I’ve noticed – shes fucking hilarious! How did I not notice this before?!
It started with a couple of random comments that caught my attention and now when we all meet up I look forward to what she’s going to come out with next.
Her rants are always entertaining
On the selection of coffees available nowadays: “you’ve got latte, cappuccino, mocha chocca! I just want a coffee! A white coffee!”
On why Baristas shouldn’t be called anything fancy: “it’s ridiculous, it’s out of a machine anyway they just press a button”
Her advice on life is always eye opening……
“Everyone smoked back in the 50’s, didn’t do us any harm!” 👆🏼Really Ruby? Really?!
“You know, farting lowers blood pressure” 😳💨
Her uniform astounded answer to sometimes the most simplist questions……
I noticed that when asked a question we would deem as perfectly normal, she looks at us like we’re crazy and thinks its a ludicrous question, so answers in the same raised voiced, high pitched tone and draws out the word – “Naooooo!!”
Some of the innocent questions she’s answered in this way……
– would you like ice in your orange juice?
– would you like decaf coffee?
– do you like pasta?
Her bluntness is possibly my favourite part……
Mum: “ruby what do you want to do for your 90th”
Ruby: “Be dead”. 😳🙄Jesus Christ
– Conversation with my mum after my mums operation got cancelled due to lack of beds at the hospital
Ruby: what you need intensive care bed for after your op?
Mum: for 24hr one to one care and monitoring support
Ruby: well dolly (her cousin) was in intensive care and she still died so wants the point
Mum: Ok……that’s great thanks ruby
I can’t figure out if she’s always been entertaining or if she just stopped giving a shit when she got into her 80’s.
Either way I now just look forward to the gems she’s going to come out with next, and look forward to also getting better with age!